Greek to Me.
Many of us vanilla folk feel that they have lived in a sense of confined environment. These habitats include families with children, the workplace, social circles, and anything that might keep ourselves from expressing our true selves. (master, dominant, slave or submissive, etc.) However, a vanilla person may not even feel confined at all and may be perfectly happy having a totally out of this world great sexual\sensual experience! This year has already been an amazing year for me here with a totally sex positive and respectful community. Can I really be more involved in looking to receive more love in my life? Yes, I am liberated and eager to learn more about confidence and empowerment in the arena.
Part One of my Blog: Musing in New Mexico. I had mentioned two films that I viewed while attending the Helene Wurlitzer Foundation Artist in Residency. Once a week some of the fellows of the residency would mingle at the Common House there with snacks, drinks, and sometimes a suggested movie. One was titled Dogtooth by Yorgos Lanthimos. A week later, they shared The Lobster, also by Yorgos Lanthimos. Both works of Greece.
Sometimes films can be a bit Machiavellian, or appear to be more comical than educational. (A beginner’s view upon some of the first exposure the more extreme.) Good or bad; it might not be the ideal or most educated way to start one’s approach to fetish. The peculiar thing about these two movies in particular was that they contained strange, confusing, and "revealing" elements of kink so bizarre and psychological, (also implying some sad aspects and tragic implications BDSM) that it wasn't much of a fun experience.
There was no allure of visual stimulation, nor was the films' atmosphere very erotic. It seems to rather poorly portray a 24/7 dynamic. Much of one movie seemed to imply heavy control and the life of a prisoner rather than characters or subjects who have defined and communicated their own expectations of themselves. Some examples include: You forgot to get the shampoo, you are punished buried alive. Had sex with the maid who desired to have intercourse with you? She reports it to the staff, and the next morning your hand gets burned in a toaster. You are humiliated in front of other guests of the restaurant. To me it seems more so a demonstration of total dysfunction. The proof is in the harsh language used, how the subjects assume and conclude, lack of support from one another, and the inability to escape and seek help.
In retrospect, the woman with whom I shared residency and indulged us these films is a script writer and was there to work on her own projects. Perhaps she wanted get some feedback or stir up some kind of philosophical conversation? Could it be about how well or how bad the movies were created or filmed? Or, maybe she just has a soft spot for Yorgos Lanthimos films? Or just maybe the reason to share these films was to weed out those who would say: "The cinematography was good, but 'ew!'" Or, "I’d rather see Caligula!" Needless to say, I didn’t sleep very well that night.
Eventually, somebody suggested a not so strange movie: Clouds of Sils Maria. It was about a veteran actress (Juliette Binoche) who comes face to face with an uncomfortable reflection of herself when she agrees to take part in a revival of the play that launched her career 20 years previous. As a foreign film in English, it gave artistic types an easy ride but it is a feast of rich writing and acting. (And if you’ve only ever seen Kristen Stewart in Twilight movies, she was in a different class here. Not bad.)
I’ve completed seventeen paintings.
Friends in Portland have always been saying I should do landscapes or paint something like the desert. Part of me thinks I should, and I appease them in saying I may do a few when the weather warms up. It's difficult to catch up on so many ideas when my mind is already flooded with concepts I intend to create. Lately my motivation is to create nude figurative and erotica pieces. Some of the recent works I completed at the residency were displayed at Sanctuary, a local lifestyle club in Portland. I am fortunate to also have some currently at the Catalyst and a few will be displayed at Club Privata.
While attending the residency, I had completed some other works such as an industrial view of the Darigold smoke stacks located near the Ross Island Bridge. I felt a need to throw in a Portland urban landscape or landmark. The painting is large and primarily gray with clouds. Another rendering is the George Washington Bridge abstraction. I have attached images. You might have already seen these works on my Facebook page.
A painting I’ve created recently that I really loved doing however, is of a nude model tied to a tree. The photo I referenced was of some rope work done by Noble. The image can be found in my photo album I share. Another work I’m rather proud of creating depicts a woman who is crawling off a leather chair. I tried to capture the essence of this very sexually driven crawl. To recreate her very "come hither" presence.
The artist residency was lined with lonely winter nights and days beginning with coffee. With the heat cranked up and time to my thoughts, I would find myself the time to fantasize. I had searched in the net for clues about how to liberate myself. I discovered an article about men and masturbation techniques; let’s call it "Mindfulness masturbation." It's really a lot of meditation through self-pleasure, learning to control oneself not to climax. How to bring yourself to the point of no return just taking time to stop, wait, to be ready to start again. This article also suggests a prostate toy, in which I ordered online right away. This turned out to be another tool to use in my development of my own self-confidence and sexuality.
I'm now able to comfortably expand my sexual energy, as well as enjoy, and endure the energy of a woman. I’ve created several small paintings of my new adventure toy held in the palm of my hand. Wearing the prostate toy while I paint or masturbate actually helped me to explore and build up the confidence i needed to help me with controlling premature ejaculation. (A subject many of us have struggled with.) The results were very noticeable in my last sexual encounter. the experience was fun and intense due to a length of time I wouldn't have endured before learning the art of stopping and starting again. Really mastering it. (Sex is always a great exorcize as well.)
My journey as a painter is one of passion and adventure. I try to genuinely create connections using large scale oils to convey beauty in urban landscapes and in the essence of the human spirit. I apply techniques using color, perspective, and light to translate our capacity to feel, to shed our masks, and to allow vulnerability.
Christopher B Mooney
REALLY: My Blog.